I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
