I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
