This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
