You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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