I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
