when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
