direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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