went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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