its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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