I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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