R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
