How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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