Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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