Don't you send me to vm
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
