TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
