So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
