one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize