yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
did i walk over a car last night?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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