Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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