Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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