Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
