in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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