Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
false alarm, still single
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
