He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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