This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
