I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
