he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
sarcasm needs its own font
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
