Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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