belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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