You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
