if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize