so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
