The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
