I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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