Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
