My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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