Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm both gender and math confused
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
