That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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