So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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