Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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