The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
