is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
