I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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