At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
