Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
