lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize