The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
