I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize