Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Enjoy the penises
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
