Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize