they need to just BURY HIM!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
