woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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