i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
vagina is talking i cant
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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