You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize