somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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