She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
